Hello from the Weird Realm of Post-Graduation

Well, I graduated from college last week by what straight-A students may call “the skin of my teeth,” so naturally, I am relatively behind on the whole job-search thing. I also haven’t posted to this blog for three months, but the involuntary hiatus was necessary for my successful completion of a BA with a solid […]

Mentally Ill Pot, Meet Kettle.

What’s worse – comments from the peanut gallery or “advice” from fellow mentally ill people who actively disregard their issues? I honestly have no idea. Would I rather be told, “it’s all in your head,” by someone who has no experience with having a head that actively works against his or her best interest 130% […]

Coping in Its Many Unhealthy Forms

On my relentless quest to get to the heart of why mental illness makes me choose unhealthy coping mechanisms even though I have a myriad of healthy ones at my disposal, I actually felt the need to do homework as an escape from all that introspection. My parents must be so proud. Like, I binged […]

Good News! I’m in Pseudo-Recovery.

“You have one of the worst cases of OCD we’ve seen in a while.” My therapist said this after I finished explaining to her how and why I thought my OCD was getting better. But as I sat there contemplating my day of full bladders, cracked hands, plastic utensils, “safe foods,” and magical thinking, I […]

I’m Tired

Per my last post, a clarification of my pervasively resentful tone might be necessary. In an attempt to treat this blog more as a journal and less as a diatribe against whatever social or political cause I’m using as an invisibility cloak for my emotional state, there are a few things that need to be […]

Dejection: An Ode

You know, there are some not-so-great things I internalized from religion. I think I’ve made that abundantly clear, but after feeling wholly unsatisfied exploring my personal vendetta against the doctrine, I came to the conclusion most of the disdain I harbor for the teachings themselves is tantamount to how I feel about “all lives matter,” […]

Artists Need Not Be Tortured People. Tortured People Need Not Be Artists.

The more I study literature, the more I see the subtleties of the “tortured artist” trope. I’ve seen obvious evidences of this sentiment for a while now – well, ever since I started being vocal about mental illness in tandem with my love of art. They’re hard to miss: “mentally ill people are more creative,” “[insert […]

Intimacy? Nope, Never Heard of It.

In therapy today – yeah, I know – I started talking about this blog and how I want people to know I have a mental illness without having them treat me like I have a mental illness. Then, my counselor asked me why I want people to know at all. It wasn’t accusatory. I think […]

Your Bad Day Is My Good Day

“Your blog is so sad.” Uhhhh, I think the word you’re looking for is, “relatable.” Then again, as I listen to a playlist called “Depressed Shit” and write this, I do wonder why pretty much everything I write, say, and think sounds melancholic even when I’m not particularly feeling that way. I function on a […]

Impulse Out-of-Control

Yesterday, I had the literal Worst Hangover of My Life. I gagged every time I sat up until like 6 pm. And during this time of a pounding headache forcing me into sleepless stillness, I thought to myself, “why can’t I do anything in moderation?” It’s either nothing or everything. I’m either drinking like I […]