How Religion Hurt My Mental Health

This will likely be a 10-part series on the main ways religion and lack of religion have contributed to my mental illness. With so many blogs talking about the ways religion helps mental health, I feel the need to throw the opposing view out there, but not simply to play devil’s advocate. This is an issue close […]

Mentally Ill Pot, Meet Kettle.

What’s worse – comments from the peanut gallery or “advice” from fellow mentally ill people who actively disregard their issues? I honestly have no idea. Would I rather be told, “it’s all in your head,” by someone who has no experience with having a head that actively works against his or her best interest 130% […]

Coping in Its Many Unhealthy Forms

On my relentless quest to get to the heart of why mental illness makes me choose unhealthy coping mechanisms even though I have a myriad of healthy ones at my disposal, I actually felt the need to do homework as an escape from all that introspection. My parents must be so proud. Like, I binged […]

Good News! I’m in Pseudo-Recovery.

“You have one of the worst cases of OCD we’ve seen in a while.” My therapist said this after I finished explaining to her how and why I thought my OCD was getting better. But as I sat there contemplating my day of full bladders, cracked hands, plastic utensils, “safe foods,” and magical thinking, I […]

I’m Tired

Per my last post, a clarification of my pervasively resentful tone might be necessary. In an attempt to treat this blog more as a journal and less as a diatribe against whatever social or political cause I’m using as an invisibility cloak for my emotional state, there are a few things that need to be […]

Dejection: An Ode

You know, there are some not-so-great things I internalized from religion. I think I’ve made that abundantly clear, but after feeling wholly unsatisfied exploring my personal vendetta against the doctrine, I came to the conclusion most of the disdain I harbor for the teachings themselves is tantamount to how I feel about “all lives matter,” […]

Artists Need Not Be Tortured People. Tortured People Need Not Be Artists.

The more I study literature, the more I see the subtleties of the “tortured artist” trope. I’ve seen obvious evidences of this sentiment for a while now – well, ever since I started being vocal about mental illness in tandem with my love of art. They’re hard to miss: “mentally ill people are more creative,” “[insert […]

Intimacy? Nope, Never Heard of It.

In therapy today – yeah, I know – I started talking about this blog and how I want people to know I have a mental illness without having them treat me like I have a mental illness. Then, my counselor asked me why I want people to know at all. It wasn’t accusatory. I think […]

Your Bad Day Is My Good Day

“Your blog is so sad.” Uhhhh, I think the word you’re looking for is, “relatable.” Then again, as I listen to a playlist called “Depressed Shit” and write this, I do wonder why pretty much everything I write, say, and think sounds melancholic even when I’m not particularly feeling that way. I function on a […]

The Belittling of Detractors

I’ve mentioned this in passing, but the systematic and strategic belittling of my deconversion warrants closer inspection if for no other reason than Christians’ denial that they do this. If I had a dollar for every time someone said, “this is just a period of rebellion,” I would literally just set that pile of money […]

Impulse Out-of-Control

Yesterday, I had the literal Worst Hangover of My Life. I gagged every time I sat up until like 6 pm. And during this time of a pounding headache forcing me into sleepless stillness, I thought to myself, “why can’t I do anything in moderation?” It’s either nothing or everything. I’m either drinking like I […]